Recently, I had an interesting conversation with a friend about alignment.

They immediately said "positivity" was one of their guiding principles. They were certain and even backed it up with evidence. They explained, they were always asking people about the three best things that happened to them that day.

At first glance, it seemed like a perfect example of taking action in alignment with their guiding principles. But as we dug deeper, something unexpected happened.

My friend realized that positivity didn’t even make their top ten true values. Positivity wasn’t really the driving force behind asking people the three best things that happened to them that day.

What was really going on?

As we explored further, my friend came to see positivity was a shield. It was an unconscious way to sidestep the heavy sense of responsibility they felt, whenever someone shared a challenge or struggle with them. By steering conversations toward positive experiences, they were protecting themselves from the pressure of feeling like they had to fix things for others.

We kept exploring. When the true guiding principle - personal responsibility - was uncovered, the relief was palpable. They were able to allow the space for other people to sort out their own problems. They didn’t feel burdened to fix everything for others. It was just enough space for a boundary to arise.

This discovery puts them in a place to stay aligned with their guiding principles. Instead of avoiding problems through positivity, they take personal responsibility for their actions and encourage others to do the same.

When you uncover what is really motivating you, you can find a clear path forward and feel less pressured.

​Keep shining! Julie​

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