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Stuck in a painful cycle? This can help.
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Your automatic way of showing up in the world arises out of a promise you made to yourself when you were very young. When you are repeating a pattern, even if it’s detrimental to you, you can bet there is a childhood promise at play. Childhood Promises are promises you made to YOURSELF about how you will show up in the world. Even as a child you knew how you show up has an impact. Let me tell you about a client who discovered their childhood promise and refined it into a motto of Delivering Perfect Help, since 1981. Sarah has always been the one people lean on, at work, at home, and with friends. If someone needs something done she wants to be the person who does it. She says yes, always yes, because helping makes her feel needed, safe, useful.
Recently at work, she took the time to help a co-worker set up an app and learn how to use it. She knows the feeling of needing help and not getting it all too well. She does everything in her power so that other people don’t feel the same pain she does.
She wonders what’s wrong with her. Why is she so good at helping others but so bad at following through and finishing her own projects? She knows that she has other projects that are more important and she is falling behind on her own work. Then it hits her, if a project is unfinished no one can criticize it.
When she can’t deliver perfect help, she procrastinates. Tasks pile up. Deadlines slip. The panic sets in and it sits like an anchor on her chest. Her mind spins out in the swirl of prioritizing and trying to finish half-started projects.
It leaves a trail of unfinished tasks and quiet disappointment. Then she starts a new project with the same enthusiasm to help and the cycle repeats.
This is a childhood promise at play and this is how it plays out in her life. Offer help. Procrastinate. Panic. Pass off the project or leave it incomplete. Start something new - that’s easier to accomplish.
Stating her promise into her motto gave her perspective. She transformed her motto into her new mantra, There’s no such thing as perfect help, since 2025. She quickly was able to identify her next action and gave herself permission to do it imperfectly.
It's a great start to more inner peace and freedom.
This is just one exploration we go through in my membership. The doors will be opening again in September. Make sure you join the waitlist. If you are ready to make the changes you have worked so hard to change, join us. It will start you on a personal growth journey that will transform your life experience. Keep shining! Julie
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The Ripple Affect
Stop the struggle! Sign up to receive tips, insights, and practices to ditch striving and start thriving. Learn to reduce stress, find your purpose, and live your full potential.